Hints and tips for perfect Vows

For better or worse vows are an important part of your ceremony. It is your time to tell each other, friends and family how much you mean to each other and the promises you make to each other for your future life

Getting Started

• Start early, you will change it many times before you are happy with it.
• Speak from the heart, be sincere and your family and friends will love it.
• Decide how long your vows should be, how many vows you want to make.
• Discuss themes, topics and stories with each other to avoid clashes.
• Ideally, keep it less than three minutes.

Creating Vows

• Who is your partner? best friend, soulmate, adventure partner.
• What do you love about them? What key qualities made you fall in love.
• Pick a memorable moment, a story that makes your vows unique.
• Make it personal, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable.
• Make promises, what does the future hold, both big and small.
• If your vows are for your renewal ceremony talk about the major milestones that have shaped your life together.
• Make serious and playful vows, shows commitment and your fun side.
• Add personal touches, consider song lyrics or quotes that resonate with you.

Five Mistakes That Ruin Otherwise Good Vows

The memoir. Your vows are not your autobiography. If the reading takes longer than two minutes, cut it in half. Then cut it again. The tightest version is always the strongest.

The vague declaration. “You make me a better person” means nothing without evidence. Better person how? Did they teach you to be patient with your family? Did they convince you Harry Potter is cinematic gold? Show it.

The comedy set. A single well-placed joke? Beautiful. Five minutes of crowd work with no emotional weight? Your partner is standing there wondering when the real vows start.

The silent rehearsal. Vows that read well on paper can sound completely wrong out loud. Read them to your dog. Read them in the shower. Read them in the car. You need to know where your voice will crack so it doesn’t ambush you at the altar.

The last-minute scramble. A first draft two weeks before the ceremony. That’s the minimum. Write it, let it sit, come back, and strip out everything that sounds like a greeting card. Keep everything that sounds like you.

Take a look at some example vows you may want to use or to just give you a little nudge to get you started.